Hey, Paul. I had some work done on the house. I had roofers over, and I got some shingles.

Really, it looks painful.

No, it could have been worse, but I was putting in a contact lens the size of a manhole cover in my other eye.


Well, it is true that I'd do anything to beat Leno, including turning into a cyclops.


Yes, CBS stands for the Cyclops Broadcasting Network.


With a pirate eye-patch, I think I am now cool enough for that up-start Fox Television Network.

That's cool.

This patch was the only thing I got out of that CABIN BOY movie. Oh, right, and a rash.


But truthfully, I feared for my life. I thought I had Connecticut SARS.

What's that?

Shingles And Regis Syndrone.